image: Single Sisters in University
Interview Topic: SSU & Relationships
Sisters, meet Maria! We have the pleasure to interview her, a freshman Law student studying in France. Maria enjoys going to the movies, shopping, and hanging out with friends on her free time. Join our conversation as we talked about coming out of a relationship that wasn’t God’s plan.
So far, how is campus life going for you as a SSU?
It’s going pretty well, it’s definitely different from high school! I think one thing I noticed compared to high school is that in my university, I don’t feel the pressure to date (believe it or not). My university is quite big, when you see students around, they are just busy with their books, walking around, and I don’t really see men and women hanging out together as lovers. Hence, there is no pressure to want a boyfriend. This is totally different from my secondary school because there, I used to see a lot of kissing and hugging and the pressure was greater there to compromise and be like others. It really is a blessing from God that life here in university is not the same.
I think the next question we had which you already touched upon was to ask about the greatest challenge you’re facing relationship-wise
Right, like I mentioned before there is no pressure to date because I don’t see it around campus nor in my class. It’s surprising now that I think about it! I praise the Lord because I can just focus on my studies instead of being influenced by what I see. So, I don’t have any challenge.
Tell us about an experience when you had a crush on a man and you knew it wasn’t in God’s plan.
Actually, this happened last year as I began my first year in college. One of my friends introduced me to this gentleman and he was cute (I have to say). I started to talk to him, some time after, he asked me out and I accepted. I think during the brief moment we dated, I realized that we had different spiritual points of view. I wasn’t comfortable anymore to continue this walk with him and we had to part our ways.
How did you know that this man was not God’s will for you?
During the time we briefly dated, I personally was going through some time of repentance before the Lord. I really wanted to draw closer to God and follow Him wholeheartedly because I was distracted for a long time. Part of my repentance journey was to devote more time in prayer. Through prayer, the Holy Spirit began to convict me that my relationship with this guy was not right because this man did not love God as he claimed. The Lord opened my eyes to realize that this man was not walking in accordance to the Bible. For instance, this man was totally for fornication, he thought there was nothing wrong with it. I was appalled by his way of thinking which made me see that he was not the one. At that time, I really wanted to move forward with the Lord and I felt that my relationship with this guy would only pull me back so it couldn’t work.
The relationship ended, but what about the feelings of love and care you had for this man, how did you get rid of them?
It’s true that deep inside of me I cared and loved this man but I had to come to a point where I was either going to commit to following God completely or still hold on to those feelings. My love for God’s Word and the fear of God were more powerful and drove away those feelings. Also, prayer was a huge contribution to freeing myself from those emotions.
Are you doing anything different now to ensure you won’t make the same mistake like with this previous relationship?
I can’t run away from men (lol). In life, I am still going to be introduced to men or meet men myself. One thing I definitely want to do from now on is to state my standpoint from the get-go. I don’t want to enter any more relationships only to find out later on that the man is not a real follower of Christ. I would let anyone who’s interested in me what I stand for, i.e. sexual purity, godliness, servanthood, selfless love, etc. It will have to take some time before we begin courtship and then head to the altar. And I usually notice that the ones who come for physical pleasures will usually give up when they see they can’t get what they want; whereas the one destined by God is patient all the way through.
Any words you would like to address to SSU?
Be patient! Ladies, patience is the key! I know it’s hard because sometimes you feel like God has forgotten about you but you need to trust Him, trust that He knows best, and will bless you in his own time. Don’t rush into relationships just because you want to be married. I know so many of my friends that rushed into relationships later to find out that their men had other girlfriends. Sometimes, you can either be tempted because you see your friends have boyfriends but are their relationships honoring God? Put your faith in the Lord and wait upon the godly, faithful, and caring husband God has in store for you!