How Close Is Too Close To A Guy?

For women, how close is too close to a guy? I was asked the question by a friend. That’s an interesting one right there, because neglecting or ignoring the answer to this question has definitely landed us, women, into many troubles. For instance, it’s led us to engage in fornication, be sexually harassed or raped, and date or get emotionally wrapped up with the wrong guy. As godly women, we need to set barriers in order not to give the devil a foothold and preserve our purity; 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to “be sober, be vigilant; because [our] adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” The real question here shouldn’t be “what is considered ‘too close’ to a guy?” but instead “how ‘not’ to get close to a guy?”. Again, the objective is not to give the devil a foothold by being close to a guy in the first place.


I don’t want to be legalistic and give a bunch of do’s and don’ts when it comes to what’s considered close to a guy; however, I believe that a born-again, Spirit-filled woman will be guided by the Lord on the limits to set vis-à-vis men. So, here are my personal thoughts on what I consider close to a guy:

  • Engaging in deep conversations with a guy, e.g. topics on sex, intimate relationships, family planning, etc. I usually keep my chats with men superficial, e.g. politics, environment, school, work, etc.
  • Having a guy as a best friend
  • Being alone in a closed room or car with a man or men
  • Spending long or regular conversations with a man either via phone or social media
  • Dancing with a guy
  • Giving my phone number to a man unless necessary, e.g. I will not give my number to a guy I just met at a party, store, or school unless it’s for business or family purposes

The above thoughts are some of the barriers I’ve set for myself; the most important lesson here is to live a self-controlled life as godly women: This is God’s will for us not just as single women but also as married ones (Gal 5:23).

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