Marriage Is Not About Happiness But a Ministry

Why do we want to get married? Why do we look forward to living with the man of our dreams? As women, we’re drawn to those romantic movie scenes where a couple is all happy and cozy, and thus we covet a similar relationship in real life. We want the hugs, kisses, sweet words, protection, and support that come with having a husband. We want to be happy! But does marriage really makes one happy? If that were the case, then why has the divorce rate risen over the years? Why do we see some married people feeling lonely? Why do some men/women murder their spouse? And the worst part is why does the marriage bond becomes mundane along the years? Are we doing anything wrong? I recently watched a sermon by pastor Francis Chan titled “Christ-Centered Relationships, part 3” and what he shared revolutionized my thoughts on marriage.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the
two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ
and the church
. Ephesians 5:31-32

image source: Single Sisters in University

Throughout the Bible, many references of marriage are used to describe the union of Christ and the church: Ephesians 5:25, Ezekiel 16:8, Matthew 25:1, Jeremiah 2:2, and etc. That’s why in the above passage of Eph5:31-32, the apostle Paul states that marriage is not just about a man and a woman coming together, but it’s the illustration of Christ and the church. As born-again Christians, we are called to be ambassadors of Christ to the world and what better way to do so than through the ministry of marriage. When godly husbands begin to love their wives as Christ loves the church and when godly wives begin to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, we minister the love of Christ to a lost and dying world. This, as a result, will attract the world to know more about the source of this solid marriage which is Jesus (Matt5:16). How a couple nurtures their relationship will affect their children and surroundings. I myself have at times been disgusted by marriage by witnessing different couples devour each other like sworn enemies, while at other times been attracted to marriage by couples who respected and sacrificed for each other. That’s the reason why we should never take marriage lightly because it’s the ministry that God has given to those who are called in order to reflect Christ to the world. Consequently, when both spouses understand this profound mystery and they begin to serve and put God first in their relationship, the products are love for each other, happiness, salvation of the lost, and etc.

The reason why so many marriages have failed, become mundane or bitter is because either one or both spouses considered marriage as the source of their happiness. When your spouse becomes your reason for life, you therefore begin to suck happiness from him or her; reality is that they will never measure up because only God is supposed to be your life and bliss. Do we want to enjoy our marriage when the time comes? Do we want to have a blessed union? Then our future husbands and us should consider marriage as a ministry to reach out to the world instead of a source of happiness. The Bible doesn’t lie when it says: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”, Matt6:33. When spouses together in unity seek first to advance the Kingdom of God, the Lord will then provide for the rest: Enjoyment, love, happiness, and all that we desire of marriage.

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