By Traci Marrs, Psalm84 Christians
“Why is it so hard to admit or confess our mistakes? One might even argue that they don’t have anything to admit or confess. It’s a conundrum when a person reaches Step 4 in any recovery program for the first time because they either know the extent of what needs to be confessed or they are focused on the need of others to admit their fault, or the pain is just too great to bear to open it all up again.
Some areas of difficulty to come to confess show up in how we describe our situation, here’s a few examples:
It was their fault so I had a right to my part in that situation therefore there’s nothing really to confess, I’m justified in that situation”. In this type of thinking, there’s denial of any behaviors that is your part because of the justification made and focus on the fault of another; by justifying self in the situation there is level of pride by God’s standard, and pride is an insulator for denial. Justification plays a big part here and it’s one of the biggest deceptions of the enemy. As long as satan can keep you making justification about something, it makes you the judge in the matter and therefore God’s Grace for you and your adversary are hindered and you carry the burden of that sin. If we negatively react to a situation “justified” or not, we’ve still sinned because sinning is not based upon the conditions it’s based on reaction. Sometimes just admitting what you feel you were justified in and coming into agreement that your reaction was self-motivated or self-willed, it let’s go of the entire burden and then you can deal with forgiveness more easily.
Image: Grow The Game
“They did something similar first; this is just payback, so that pretty much makes it even.” – This is the tit-for-tat game. This kind of thinking believes you have a right to pay it back and many people use the scripture for example in Exodus 21:23…”eye for eye, tooth for tooth” to justify themselves. This law in the Old Testament Covenant of the Mosaic Law was given to regulate the procedure of the public magistrate in determining the amount of compensation in the case of injury, it was not to offer or encourage feelings of revenge by any means and Jesus dispelled this notion in Matthew 5:38-42.
“It’s my heritage or nationality”. Every nationality has characteristics that blame is placed because it gives an excuse to behavior as if it can’t be helped for instance I’m Irish, Scottish, Norwegian and German and I’ve blamed being hotheaded, compulsive, stubborn, short-tempered, and out-spoken on my mixture of nationalities. This is rationalizing the problem; just what the enemy wants, to deceive us into believing we can’t change because that’s who we are. These traits are more prevalent to woundedness as well as the shaping of a nation by human decision not on nationality alone. What might be considered as an example of character building of an entire nation is the woundedness experienced by that nation in its history; take Germany for example, a lot of pain there from the Holocaust – that would shape a nation with some new traits for sure, not because they’re German but because an entire nation experienced great pain and suffering. So we’re not defined by our nationality, we’re defined by our own choices in the decisions that we make based on our belief system (sin nature – see archived messages on this topic) and we can be defined by the decisions others make as well that have had an effect on us. It’s when we surrender our lives to the care and control of Christ that we are newly defined by the character of Christ.
“It’s just the way I am or it’s the way I was brought up” -Well this one is similar to heritage and nationality. We tend to think we’re stuck in some behavior or habit and can never change because we feel it’s a part of our identity. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” What has passed away? Your sin nature – the habits and hang-ups. Your hurts have been overcome at the Cross but you have to come into agreement with that truth. Look at it this way,
Image: Ryan Springer
at the Cross, there is a door to cross-over to peace, restoration and redemption and the key is forgiveness and reconciliation of matters. To use your key and unlock the door to this inheritance is to agree that you are not that way anymore and you are no longer bound by the lies; it won’t have a hold on you anymore.
“I can’t confess my mistake, how would people see me then?” This is a pride issue and as we saw earlier, pride is an insulator for shame. What’s more is that there is a tremendous amount of fear in exposure because of what is hidden in the darkness of our secrets, exposure to it all may result in rejection and that is the core of what we’re trying so desperately to protect. But this is a lie in our belief system friends. Did you know that sin is death? You’re a walking corpse if you haven’t accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior and if you have and you’re still experiencing hell on earth (so to speak) you’re still believing the lie and spiritually speaking you look like a walking corpse. It’s time to take off that garment! The best way to understand this is our mistakes bring the negative and where there is negative there is no positive unless you turn to the positive. Another way to look at it is light does away with darkness, when it’s dark in the room all movement shuts down, it stops. Darkness always portrays death because it’s separated from the light. It’s no different with sin because God is light (life) and sin is darkness (death).
God spoke through the prophet Isaiah in chapter 42:15-17 that He will make the darkness into light. When Christ comes to live in us, we stand in agreement with him that we were in
darkness, He is the light that dispels the darkness, so we agree to death with Christ at the Cross Galatians 2:20. But you can keep your secrets from the light even as a Christian, did you know that? You do that through denial, un-forgiveness and un-repentance. Pride motivates you in denial and un-forgiveness. How can you tell if you’re carrying pride? If you’re blaming others, finding fault in others, complaining a lot; God shatters all this with His light and I’ll take this a step further by sharing His Light is LOVE! Remember, perfect love casts out fear? 1 John 4:18. When sin is exposed to the light (His Love) in a safe place like Celebrate Recovery, there is no longer any darkness to it or fear; you are restored to the light (His Love).
Therefore, in Christ, there is no longer any power in the sin that can continue to have a hold on you if you trust in Christ and His work on the Cross. If you realize your identity in Christ; you share in His power and authority against sin. We have difficulty understanding this truth and how to apply this power and authority in our lives so we resort to believe in the lie, give up and turn it right back over to satan every time when we surrender to our own wisdom, knowledge and strength.
I want to encourage you friends, overcome the guilt, shame, pride and denial through confession because in doing so you will find new life. God didn’t create you to live life lukewarm. He created you to live life abundantly. He sent His Son to bear the Cross so you could have life abundantly here on earth and have life eternal with Him in Heaven. What are you waiting for? Why would you want to stay in the pits or even a lukewarm existence when you can have paradise? I still have challenging days, but for the most part life is great spent in a relationship with Christ. Let Jesus wash you and make you clean so you can bear witness to His redeeming Power!
I pray what God has spoken into your heart calls you to that place that only He can meet with you and bring you restoration, reconciliation and peace. I pray His Word is seated deeply in your heart and protected from the attempts of the enemy to kill, steal and destroy. Bless you and may He draw you closer to Him. In Jesus Name, amen.