SSU of the Month: Christie

image: Single Sisters in University

Interview Topic: Moving Back With Parents After College

They say ‘college years are your best years’ because after that the real world kicks in. It’s during this time that most graduates tend to return home and focus on looking for a J.O.B. Life after graduation can be depressing when you have to move back with parents, return to the same adolescent bedroom, and you feel like a child again instead of a grown-up. We had the occasion to chat with Christie who returned home after grad school. Her message on her experience will definitely inspire you, so be blessed!

Why did you decide to move back home?
I didn’t intentionally plan to move back home after graduation. I was actually offered a job position prior to graduation in the same city where I schooled and was planning to stay there. However, when various challenges arose, I had to let go of my job offer and since I no longer had a place to live in, I had to go back home while I looked for another job.

How did you feel when you realized you were going to move back home?
Wow, it was definitely a shocker because obviously it wasn’t in my plans. I felt uncomfortable because I hadn’t lived home in 6 years! It was strange, yes, very different.

How did your relationship changed with your parents compared to pre-college times?
I’m blessed to have the kind of parents I have. They were understanding of my situation and didn’t impose any financial contributions on my part. They provided for my needs without expecting anything in return. This attitude can be attributed to the African heritage we have; in our culture, parents take care of their children regardless of their age as long as they’re living with them. African parents, in general, fulfill their roles by giving to their children instead of taking from them. Aside from that, my parents didn’t treat me differently compared to pre-college times. I thank the Lord that they know Him and thus did their best to make me feel comfortable, not patronizing me in any way. On the contrary, I felt that I needed to contribute more in doing chores compared to pre-college years to express my gratitude.

What if you weren’t African and had to deal with parents who didn’t fear God. Let’s say you had to actively contribute in one way or another, how would you have reacted?
I would have abided to their requests because I depend on them. In the past, I temporarily lived with family friends that behaved in that manner or even harshly, learnt to subject, and just cried out to the Lord in my prayer closet.

What are the pros and cons of returning home for you?
Moving back home was a blessing because I had company compared to always returning to a lonely house in college and grad school. I learnt a lot in the areas of cooking, marriage, life tips, and so on being with my mom which are things I would have probably not understood talking to her via phone. The con of returning home is that it crushes your ego a bit! Whenever you talk to people, you want to tell them that you have your own place and are doing your thing, but saying that you live at home is a little embarrassing.

Any words to SSU planning on moving back home after graduation?
SSU need to prepare themselves for whatever situation they may face at home. Ladies, whether parents will treat you well or not, you need to learn to submit and honor them because that’s God’s will for us and we’re blessed in doing so (Ex20:12). Pray for strength and wisdom because this is a whole new chapter. Focus on your goals and achieve them. People say that living back home makes you childish because you’re not experiencing life in your own however that’s not true. It all depends on the way you take on this stage. If you want to act as a baby while staying with your parents, then that’s what you’re going to get. If you still want to grow up as an adult, you will do it and living with your parents will not be a roadblock on your journey.

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