The Boyfriend Lives in Your House?


I don’t know whether this is a new trend because I definitely don’t remember witnessing it during my university days: College ladies accommodating and catering for their boyfriends. Female emancipation has paved the way for women to show their independence from men; is this perhaps why ladies let their boyfriends live with them in order to divert from the norm? I don’t know. Does it give us, women, self-worth because we can provide for our men? We can now earn the respect that we deserve? Regardless of the reason, we need to ponder if this is an attitude that God approves. The world may do it this way but Christian ladies can’t. Why do we then claim to be Christian if we don’t follow the teachings of Christ? Or are we just nominal Christians that go to church on Sundays and follow the secular patterns the rest of the week?

It’s already bad enough to live with our boyfriends pre-marriage, and now to think of letting them live with us and catering for their needs. Ladies, what are we doing? Where’s our dignity? Even though the world may praise us for being on top of the game but what does God say? Ephesians 5:23 tells us that “for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” In the marriage covenant, God purposed the man to be head of his wife and provide for his family’s needs (Genesis 3:17b-18). Does this mean wives cannot work? Not at all, we see a good example in the Proverbs 31 woman. This means, however, that wives shouldn’t seek to become ‘the provider’. If therefore this isn’t the case for wives, what makes us think it’s the case for dating relationships? The best way I can describe this ‘new’ trend is as if parents who have a gifted boy decide not to educate him. The parents are just satisfied with the child being at home and not using his gift to better this world. This is a bit what we’re doing with our men. God has purposed men to be the head, go out there to eat by the sweat of his brow, and be productive, and we are preventing this from happening. What are we doing ladies? We need to seriously consider our ways before the Lord.

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