SSU Special Edition: Preparing For Marriage
You have attended several weddings so far which made you realize that you yourself are not getting any younger; your blessing has to come too. No good or godly marriage proposals have come your way and you have come to a point where you question God and yourself. What is preventing you from getting married like the others? Ladies, I write from experience. I personally had envisaged getting married after college or graduate school then have my first child a year after. Today, I can tell you that dream never got fulfilled. Despite my grumble, I understood that God did well not to let me married when I wanted to because I was not adequately mature, otherwise, my marriage would have been a disaster. So, I’d like to share a few tips on understanding the reasons for delay in marriage and on waiting on the Lord.
Tips on Understanding
If you say that you’ve given yourself away to Christ then you have to exercise trust in your relationship with the Lord. Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I’m sure you oftentimes repeat this verse, well, it’s high time to apply it now. Trusting God means that though you don’t comprehend His ways, you have the firm assurance that He’s allowed delay in marriage to ‘work all things together for your good.’
You have to understand that complaining, murmuring, and questioning God is not a sign of humility. In those kinds of circumstances, you’re basically demonstrating that you know better and the Lord is incapable of providing for your needs. Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”
Marriage doesn’t define your existence even though society looks at it this way. That’s why it’s important to understand that you are not of the world, you just live in it; your citizenship is in Heaven (Philippians 3:20). God doesn’t need you to be married in order to use you for His glory; the Bible gives us great examples of people who have glorified the name of the Lord while being single: Jesus, Paul, Joseph (son of Jacob), and John the Baptist. It’s necessary to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
At times, the Father can delay marriage because you’re not ready yet. Maybe if you marry today, you will not submit to your husband completely. Hence, the Lord is using this time of delay to break and mold you into the virtuous woman that He wants you to become so that you can enjoy and not endure your marriage.
image: Eternal Athletes
Tips on Waiting
Marriage is more than just the wedding ceremony; it’s the journey that occurs after that. Take this period of waiting to better yourself. Learn how to cook delicious meals, be hospitable, become a prayerful woman, delight in doing domestic activities, handle money wisely, and etc (Titus 2:4). Remember this: God will not send rain to an unprepared field.
1 Peter 5:6 says “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.” This verse is the key, ladies you need to humble yourself before the Lord. Not by grumbling or complaining, but surrendering your life to Jesus for real for His glory and honor. Let God fulfill His beautiful plan without you trying to interfere. Humility entitles you to obey the Word of God and be freed from society’s opinion about your marital status. As long as God is on your side, that’s all that matters. It’s true that denying oneself is not easy (i.e. humility), this is the reason why you need the power of the Holy Spirit to do the supernatural in you.
Grow in the knowledge and love for God. Use this time to get to know the Lord more through His Word and fall so in love with Him that the need for marriage won’t become such a priority in your life anymore. Be content in all circumstances (1 Thess 5:18; 1 Tim 6:6).
My final tip is to stay away from any TV show, magazine, conversations, movies, and so on that focus on marriage. Why? Because it will just trigger your desire to get married at all costs. You want your mind to be fixed on Christ rather than on things that will distract you.
So this is it ladies, while you may not understand God’s plan, you need to release all in His hands and prepare yourselves for marriage without being stressed over it. May the Lord fill you with His Spirit to do His will.