Single Moms: Pause & Reflect

SSU Moms Special Edition

There always comes a time in our lives when we need to pause and reflect. Sometimes we get so caught up in the routine, that we forget to examine the course of things or ourselves. As Christians, it is important to evaluate ourselves to see whether we are walking according to God’s Word or perhaps our own judgment (1 Corint 11:31). And it’s even more essential for single moms to pause and reflect in order to learn from the past (especially when singleness status is due to divorce or separation), progress in life, and set the right example for children. It’s often common to see single moms quickly going back to the dating scene for emotional attachment or financial need . This generally leads to experiencing additional heartbreaks when the new relationship doesn’t meet the expectations. Another attitude that single moms can take on is to nurture a vengeful heart toward the ex-partner and we all know how this at times can cause anxiety and depression. Hence, it is crucial to pause and reflect to honor the Father, have dignity, avoid repeating the same mistakes, and be an example to children.

I will first start by mentioning that it’s the Father’s will that His children enjoy a life of joy and love. Just take a read at Psalm 5:11-12: “But let all who take refuge in you [God] rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. For you bless the godly, O Lord; you surround them with your shield of love.” Additionally, the book of Jeremiah 29:11 says that God’s plan is to prosper and not fail us. We know that the Father is on our side when it comes to living peacefully, joyfully, and lovingly. When we pause and reflect on the past, we should admit that the reason we haven’t reached this level of life is rooted from our mistakes or lack of obedience to God’s Word. Our past relationships didn’t result in a blissful union because we never discerned God’s will for choosing our partner or at a certain point we didn’t do it God’s way. So, we are bitter, restless, worried, depressed, angry, or sleepless because we haven’t fully surrendered it all to the Lord (even though we think so).

We reflect on the present by recognizing the authority and mighty power of our Heavenly Father, “He causes wars to end throughout the earth. He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;   He burns the shields with fire. ‘Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world’ “(Psalm 46:9-10). If we want to make it right moving forward, we have to submit to our Father, acknowledging that He is God and we are not. He knows what’s best for us and we don’t. It might be hard to let go and let God as we like to be in control of things and that’s the time we ask for the Holy Spirit to do in us what we can’t do.

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Image: slideshare.net

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit–Jeremiah 17:7-8

We must also read the Word of God and apply it. In the above verse, it says that those who are planted by the waters will not fear or be anxious when heat and drought come. Psalm 1:2-3 gives much clarification about this verse by relating it to someone who delights in the Law of God and meditates it day and night. Let’s study the Bible for ourselves, not based on what a preacher said about a particular verse or on our own preconceptions. And for that we need again the Holy Spirit’s help. Jesus Himself said that if we dwell in Him, the Word of God, we will bear much fruit (John 15:5) just like what Jeremiah 17:8 reiterated. The Word of God is powerful and profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that we may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work (2Tim3:16-17). The more we are in the Word and apply it, the more the Holy Spirit will guide our steps. He will teach us to fear God and flee evil, have self-control, resist lustful desires, wait patiently on the husband destined by God, discipline children in godliness, effectively manage finances, and etc. Proverbs 3:7-8 adds “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.”

We need to pause and reflect single moms! Pause and reflect to judge ourselves to be delivered from the repeated cycles of failed relationships, mood swings, and destructive attitudes. The secret to making godly decisions lies in submission to God’s authority by reading and applying His Word. Our Father will never abandon us, we are His children, He loves us. He will supply all our needs and is going to see us through our challenging days ahead provided we’re not misled by our own desires. Let’s honor the Lord, walk in dignity, and be exemplary.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death”–Proverbs 14:12

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