Separation with Friends

SSU Special Edition: Life After Graduation

Graduation, graduation, graduation! I love graduation, I love to celebrate the achievements after long semesters of hard work. It’s a great feeling to know that IT IS OVER!!! No more homework, no more group projects, no more timetables; we’re done with school. However, we tend to forget about the reality waiting for us post-graduation time, especially when it comes to friendships. Back in school, we had a routine with our friends: Similar class time slots, weekend get-togethers, same exercise time, etc. Now after graduation, things begin to change making it more difficult to coordinate our plans: Conflicting work schedules and different budgets, social circles, and locations. Consequently, we either find ourselves alone or in dying need of that support group. So what to do? How do we handle such situations?

My post-graduation experience was comparable to the one described earlier. In my case, my friends and I moved to different parts of the country in search for jobs, while others got married and started families. The first few months, I felt very lonely and abandoned; I was phoning or texting my friends every week; I wanted to keep the connection going despite the distance. After a while , I started noticing that I was the only one making that effort, even close friends didn’t at times answer back my calls or texts. I became deeply saddened that no one showed any sign of concern, not even remembering my birthday when I remembered theirs. I failed to realize that I was now living in post-graduation times and university age was over. It was time to gradually adjust to new ways.
It’s perfectly normal to be attached to our college friends because we share memories together, nonetheless, we shouldn’t depend on their friendships to be happy or content in life. As children of God, we must learn to be master of all circumstances, with or without friends. This is what Paul says: “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation…For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philip4:11-13). In this context, Paul is mainly referring to his physical needs but for us, it applies to friendships. We need to learn to live with many, few, or no friends at all, and concurrently find our contentment in Christ alone. It’s hard to accept this truth at first, the good news is that it’s not by power or might, ‘we can do everything through Christ, who gives us strength.’ This is the maturity that will build and prepare us for future challenges. The more we spend time with the Lord (in prayer and Bible study), the more He will console us and will satisfy us.

Graduation, though a joyful occasion, is the gateway to experiencing real changes in life. In terms of our friendships, let’s not be discouraged when we can’t preserve our good relations. We need to accept this change and focus on being content in the Lord no matter the situation. And when new friends will come our way, we should continue to depend on the Lord and not feed off of them.


2 thoughts on “Separation with Friends

  1. I went through the same thing but got over it. We just have to learn to be “self sufficient” not rely on friends to make us feel good or less lonely.

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