Taming the Tongue

Preparing For Marriage Special Edition

By the grace of God, I’m an easygoing person who likes to crack jokes and enjoy discussing about various topics. The one problem with these traits of mine is what Solomon describes in Proverbs 10:19 “in the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” At times, I get so carried away that I can end up hurting someone’s feelings through my jokes or a slip of the tongue. I may not always say the proper words at the proper time and that’s not wisdom. Recently, the Holy Spirit led me to a known passage in James 1:26 which I read in a different light this time: “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” I thank the Father that He blessed me with a sociable spirit, however, I realize that if my tongue can’t be controlled or used to the glory of God at times, then indeed my religion is worthless. And when talking in terms of marriage preparation, this tongue can either make or break me. Of course, as human beings, we will make mistakes but I want to ensure that my tongue is directed by the Holy Spirit 24/7 and if I happen to speak inappropriately it’s due to unknownness of the sin rather than carelessness. I have seen a lot of wives who impaired their marriages because they constantly nagged, shouted, mocked, discouraged, or tore down their husbands with their words.

A wife of valor is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones
-Proverbs 12:4

I desire to be a wife of valor who submits to her husband with a quiet and gentle spirit as 1 Peter 3:4 says. This does not mean to be a woman of few words but instead be rich in grace and kindness. I have learnt over the past few weeks that it all begins by being filled with the Holy Spirit. Everything in the world can be tamed except for the tongue according to James 3:8. No wonder on the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit rested in the shape of tongues of fire on the disciples, perhaps to signify that He will now have have dominion over this untamable organ. I make it a daily prayer that the Father should fill me with His Spirit, because apart from Him I can do nothing. Additionally, I’m learning to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). The reason at times I get carried away in my talks is because I want to share my thoughts and opinions at all costs without pausing…Ultimately, I cannot go on ignoring Matthew 12:34 “for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” For my tongue to be tamed, it has to first start with my heart submitting to the Word of God (Psalm 119:11). Hence, when the heart is pure, the tongue is pure.

The Holy Spirit has already started working in me and I look forward to seeing this tongue being used to the glory of my Heavenly Father and later on to the blessing of my future marriage.

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