Preparing For Marriage Special Edition
Growing up in Congo, I was told at a very tender age that my duty as a future wife and mother is to be a homemaker. I didn’t know the reason why, it’s just something that I had to accept.
When I moved to the States, I got exposed to a completely different culture where a wife is not expected to do much at home. The American woman is independent, she is not told to prioritize her home duties over her job, contrary to the African woman. Even the churches I attended did not encourage women to put their household duties first. This confused me as I was perplexed about the two cultures I was exposed to. I then decided to do some research and see if there was anything in the Bible that talked about a woman being a homemaker.
In Titus 2:4-5, Paul calls older women to train young women to love their husbands and their children and be good homemakers. And in 1 Timothy 5:14, Paul instructs women to take care of their homes. As a result, I came to understand that as a future Christian wife, my duty is to stay at home taking care of the household and children, but that does not mean I can’t have a side business. To be the woman God wants me to be, I have to be obedient and submissive to the Word of God just like the church is submissive to Jesus. As a Christian wife, my first priority is my family. I have to be devoted to home duties and preoccupied with domestic affairs. Why? In order to turn a house into a home as it is my ministry .
I’ve learnt that being a homemaker requires preparation and training as well as commitment and dedication. The portrait of the godly woman in Proverbs 31 was such a good example that helped me understand more about my duty. As I read the passage, I realized that there’s no mention of rights or pursuit of self-serving interests; neither is the husband assigned to domestic pursuits.
The Proverbs 31 woman taught me that:
- I have to take delight, enjoy and have fun in working, “she seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands” (v.13).
- I have to be a good shopper, “she is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar” (v.14). As a homemaker, I should shop around for reasonable prices, be it online or in stores.
- I have to get things done well and on time, “she also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household”(v.15).
- I have to plan ahead and prepare, “she is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself” (v.21-22). The Proverbs 31 woman knew winter was coming and had warm clothing for her family and blankets for their beds. I shouldn’t let the obvious catch me off guard. I should always be ready and prepared at all time
- I have to stay busy without overworking myself, “she watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness” (v.27).
Homemaking can be a tedious job but I have come to understand that it’s very important to make it fun. One of the things I do is play a comic TV show or music while I work to make my tasks more relaxing. I additionally pray before embarking on any chore in order to commit it unto the Lord and do it for His glory.
Our Heavenly Father has called us, future wives, to value and prioritize homemaking. Let’s bathe these tasks with prayer and catch a vision of the divine challenge in making and nurturing a home. Think about the relationship between Christ and the church. Christ is the Head of the church and the church is delighted to serve Him (Ephesians 5:23, Philippians 3:7-8). Christ finds joy in the church, and the church finds in Christ an inexplicable love. This should also apply to our desire to serve our future family through the ministry of homemaking.