School & Love: Can the Two Go Hand in Hand?
image: Single Sisters in University
Sisters, meet Joanna, a former SSU.
It is a common trend on university campuses to see ladies involved in romantic relationships with men: some do it for love, while others to fit in the culture, or kill their loneliness. What should SSU’s behavior be in the midst of all this? I invite you to follow our conversation with Joanna who fell in love in school.
In order to get to know your background a bit, have you ever dated in the past? Why or why not?
I have never dated in the past, this is because my parents always advised me to wait until the proper maturity and the proper time. They believe that a relationship should be taken seriously, as it requires adequate preparation, instead of being taken as a way to “occupy” yourself with a guy.
So, what happened when you had the desire to enter into a relationship in school?
All my parents could do is give me the proper advice but I am the only one that could guard my heart. At the time when I got to know the guy, it was like my heart was saying yes, but my mind was saying no. My love for him just grew and grew irrespective of how I was brought up.
Did you eventually date the guy?
No, I didn’t. It was meant to be that way. When I fell in love with the guy, I knew deep inside of me that God wasn’t happy. Everything was wrong about this: I never had peace when I prayed about the matter (that already was a sign of God), thinking about the guy really disturbed my studies, plus I didn’t know the ABC of relationships so I was scared (I didn’t want to ask my classmates for advice as they were still learning and struggling in their own relationships), and so many other things just showed me that I was going in the wrong direction.
Can you elaborate more on the reason(s) God didn’t want you to be in a relationship?
First, many things happen during your time as a couple that it surely will affect your studies whether you like it or not (except, of course, if you are not wholly committed into the relationship). Second reason is that it’s hard to be dating without the temptation to get involved physically with your partner. I mean even if you commit to purity, yes it may work for the first year in college, then after a while the longer you wait till marriage, the more the devil will increase the urge. Hence, that’s why the Lord saved me from these calamities that could have affected my studies and purity.
Do you think God’s decision for your life is a general rule for all SSU?
Absolutely! I have witnessed my fellow classmates and none of them showed that there are blessings when you want to be in a relationship at this stage of life. My few girlfriends who did well academically were those not totally committed to their relationships, while the rest was distracted in their studies, and others trapped in fornication.
How did you recover from that experience with the guy? How were you able to move on?
Meditating on the Bible helped me refocus and find strength in the Lord. Prayer was also a great source of comfort. Slowly but surely, the Holy Spirit quieted my heart and helped me move on and fix my eyes on Jesus.
What words of advice do you have for SSU?
I want to speak to the ladies who are or want to be in a relationship while school. Maybe what I just said today does not make sense to you because you’re used to dating or have been encouraged by your friends to do so. I would only invite you ladies to put all feelings aside and spend time seeking the Lord genuinely for yourself. Take some time to fast, to meditate on the Word of God, and pray without being influenced by preconceived ideas; ask the Lord to speak to you regarding this matter of school and relationships. Then, He, Himself, will give you a revelation as He promised that “we will seek Him and find Him, when we search for Him with all our heart” Jeremiah 29:13.