Those Who Are Most Ready For Marriage Need It Less

Preparing For Marriage Special Edition


“Those who are most ready for marriage are the ones who need it less”
– Francis Chan

By this statement, Pastor Francis Chan meant that the people who are most adequately prepared for marriage are those who focus on loving Jesus instead of longing for marriage. These individuals haven’t ignored their need for marriage rather they have found contentment in their relationship with Christ. Many ladies preoccupied with getting married are usually motivated by several factors such as ‘biological clock’ ticking, societal pressures, competition, need to get out of parents’ house, and what not. As a result it becomes a race against time. When they eventually get married, they later on realize how greatly challenging it is to raise a home and that they were never properly equipped to handle various situations. There’re many wives who have learnt their lessons the hard way. It’s no wonder Proverbs 14:1 says “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” Here the author doesn’t indicate that the wise woman builds her house instead it is the wisest of them all. Hence, marriage is not a petty institution that we should just rush into due to our motives; it takes preparation upon preparation during our single days through numerous trials and suffering. And until the Lord certifies us ready, we shouldn’t get ahead of Him.

Marriage is not the most important thing in this life despite how others may portray it, our relationship with the Lord Jesus is. If we haven’t found our delight and contentment in Christ, we will definitely not find it in a mere human being (i.e. our future husband). That’s why as singles, we should seize every situation, through joys and pains, to become more like Christ.  

And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear-1 Peter 1:17

It’s not an easy process but we thank God that we can rely on the Holy Spirit’s power. The holier we become in our ways, the more prepared we become for marriage. How? Because the wisdom spoken in Proverbs 14:1 can only be attained by the fear of the Lord, a.k.a. submission to the Word of God (Proverbs 1:7). Our Heavenly Father isn’t blind or unaware of our need for marriage even though it may seem like it. If He hasn’t allowed us to meet our partner yet, it is because He is still working on us. So, let’s take advantage of our single days to continue to conform our ways to the Father’s. We can never stop learning to better ourselves.

Your Girlfriends Are Moving Up in Life, But You … Are Still the Same

My beloved one in Christ, I am writing these words as a mother to encourage you who have girlfriends that are presently getting great jobs or getting married and having children when you yourself are still the same old same.
Our God is faithful, He cannot fail, His promises are true; the Bible has more than six hundred verses for promises. These verses are to encourage and give you hope to stand firmly in challenging times. We’re all familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 which says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God elected you before creation, He set you apart, so you cannot compare yourself with your girlfriends. We don’t know what means they used to get to the level they are currently; maybe they followed the patterns of this world to get what they want. You should rather focus on the plan that God has specifically designed for you.

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You live in the world but are not from the world (2 Corinthians 10:3). God’s desire is to make you holy in your walk by protecting you from the world and its covetousness; He sanctifies you by the truth (John 17:17). Let your girlfriends get jobs, marriage, and kids; but as for you, be still and at peace, for it is not by might might nor by power, but by the Spirit of God that you can be able to wait upon your salvation. God is not a man that He should lie: He created Adam and said “it is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). Hence, before God formed you, He already created your Adam somewhere in this planet. Knowing this truth, then do not let your hearts be troubled because nothing is happening in your life; but you have to apply trust in God that your will day come. God will give you a new name: “The Blessed One.” Don’t let yourself be influenced or pressured by people for at the end of the world, you will be judged by God not men . God has promised never to leave nor forsake you, therefore be happy, cheer up! God is your strength and reward because in His presence there’s fullness of joy. Walk according to His precepts, do good. Psalm 37:1-7 puts it this way:

“Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for
like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3. Trust in
the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4. Take delight in the
Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 5. Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him and He will do this: 6. He will make your righteous reward shine like the
dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. 7. Be still before the Lord and wait
patiently for Him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out
their wicked schemes.”

Don’t be envious of those who have moved up perhaps by their own might and power, for such successes are temporary and false. God is fighting for you; when you’re waiting, He’s working behind the scenes, all who oppose or ridicule you will surely be ashamed and disgraced when the glory of God will shine upon you. Just feel honored that God, your portion, elected you to take part of His great plan! Be blessed!

Knowing Your God-Given Husband

To know your future husband, one has to pray about it and ask God for guidance for He is the creator of all things and author of this institution. Marriage is not a game, nor a way to overcome loneliness, or is it about being roommates. Marriage is not something that you can try out, it’s a lifetime commitment. You should not get married because you want to be loved, the clock is ticking, or due to circumstances/desires. God created the world in five days and on the sixth day, He made man in His image and after His likeness. Everything that God created was “good” except when He made Adam. He said “It’s not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). From there, God made a woman out of one of Adam’s ribs and He took her to Adam (Genesis 2:22).

From the above scripture, we see that God made one man for one woman: not all men are suitable for marriage and the same goes for women. That’s why when it comes to choosing your future husband, you should be patient and very cautious. SSU may be vulnerable and easily tempted by the devil. Many men will come to seduce you with false promises to marry you but beware because they are just after your beauty, elegance, and especially sex. See, those men would never tell you that they want you for sex because they know women would never want to go out with them. They’ll always masquerade their filthy ways and make you feel that they want a sincere and long-term relationship (marriage) with you.

Marriage brings happiness when you are united to the man God has intended you to be with. What can happen if you make the wrong choice? the relationship might not last and could lead to divorce because it’s a relationship based on blandishments and appearances. And such unions only last as long as you remain attractive. Once the attraction fades, your partner’s interest in you subsides, he begins to look somewhere else, and that’s when unhappiness kicks in. Consequently, you want out knowing that God is against divorce (Matthew 19:5-6). Now is the time to avoid falling in Satan’s trap. Once again God hates divorce except in the case of infidelity yet again it’s an option. That’s why you should pray for your marriage even if there’s nobody in your life yet. If God has planned for you to get married, be assured that your man is somewhere on this earth. Pray to God and ask Him for signs so that you will know who your husband is. In Genesis 24: 12-22, Abraham’s servant went to a village where he knew no one but in order to succeed in his mission, he prayed to God, asked Him for a sign to recognize Isaac’s wife, then God revealed the woman to him. So keep asking God for signs, be patient, persevere and don’t lose faith. Our God is full of compassion, one day He will answer your prayers. Therefore, surrender your will to God and He will give you the desires of your heart.